The empty places

Poem by Becky Markovitz

I see you in the empty places. I see you in the spacious backseat of the car, the car that I bought because it had more room for your car seat. I see you in the vacant second bedroom, the bedroom that has no furniture because you arrived nearly 3 months early and we hadn't yet bought you a crib. I see you in the empty closet, the closet that would have been filled with baby clothes if you hadn't died a week before the baby shower that was meant to celebrate your life. I see you in the vast spaces of our living room, the spaces where I should have seen you learn to crawl and take your first steps. I see you in the front of my grocery cart, the empty seat where you would have been strapped in to face me while we ran errands together. I see you in the open fields at the park, the place you should have been able to run freely as daddy taught you how to catch a baseball. But mostly, I see you in my arms, the arms that once embraced your warm body as the machine breathed for you, the arms that held you as your heart stopped beating. My sweet son, I will always see you vividly in my heart, the heart that feels so empty without you here to love. ❤